In this particular courtship tradition, the suitor stays in the house of a woman he is courting for a
particular period of time. Throughout the Paninilbihan period, the man would do various farm
and household chores while being observed by both the woman he is courting and her parents.
The duration of Paninilbihan (Servitude) may vary depending on the suitor and the parents of
the woman.
The Paninilbihan is a perfect opportunity for both the woman’s family and her suitor if they could
get along with one another based on the relationship established between the woman’s parents
and her suitor throughout the Paninilbihan period. Paninilbihan also an opportunity for the
woman’s family if the man possesses husband qualities for their daughter.
Below are just some of the tasks to be carried out by a man in Paninilbihan :
● Fetching water.
This household task requires a man to fetch water from a well,
river, spring, or from other natural sources of water as part of the task in
Paninilbihan. This is really a difficult task especially if the source of water is very
far from and the difficult terrain of uphill or downhill where a man has to negotiate
which is usually the case in the province
● Taking care of farm animals.
In this task, the man would help the woman ‘s father
tend to farm animals like feeding.
● Gathering firewood.
An equally laborious Paninilbihan task in which a man is
required to gather firewood. Once gathered, the man has to chop them into
smaller pieces and have them sun-dried if necessary.
● Helping out in farm tasks.
This task requires the man to assist the woman’s
father in farm works like land preparation, plowing, planting, weeding, and
harvesting.
Among the Filipino traditional courtship customs, the Paninilbihan (servitude) is one of the most
difficult and physically tiring courtship customs which aims at testing the suitor’s sincerity
towards the woman, he is courting.
In this traditional courtship custom, the suitor has to observe and practice this courtship tradition
as this has been established and had been passed on from generation to generation of Filipino
suitors.
This courtship custom (Paninilbihan) has another deeper meaning beyond its literal meaning of
just doing the Paninilbihan tasks. Traditionally, to Filipino men, Paninilbihan is done for three
reasons:
First, it has been an established courtship tradition that has been passed from generation to generation that must be observed and practiced.
Second, in Paninilbihan, the suitor would do the tasks as a way of convincing the woman and
her parents the sincerity of his courtship.
Third, Paninilbihan is of great help in winning a woman’s heart and also establishing and gaining
the trust and confidence of her parents.
This traditional courtship would either make or break a man's courtship depending on how he
would perform the tasks. Aside from the tasks, parents would also assess the attitudes shown
by the suitor throughout the Paninilbihan period.
The success of the man lies in the assessment of the parents of the woman. Traditionally, some
parents play a crucial role in the decision of the woman. They hold a strong influence over their
daughter's decision.
Though not completely lost as there are still Filipino men who practice this particular traditional courtship of Filipinos in the Philippines; it has slowly lost its popularity and importance particularly
among the young generation of Filipino men. Today’s Filipino men have shifted to modern
courtship and find this traditional courtship obsolete.
Oftentimes our life is shaped and influenced by our culture. Some of the things we do are in
adherence to our established culture. Whether this culture is good or not still a culture and it has
helped us shape our identity as people and country.
Image credit to Phil Roeder/Flickr
https://philippinesocietyandculture.blogspot.com/2023/01/paninilbihan-servitude-is-one-of-most.html