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In its simplest term, courtship is defined as a romantic relationship between two people.
A courtship comes in many forms depending on a person’s established courtship
customs. Traditionally, it would be men who would initiate and pursue courtship with
women. There's no standard way or method of courting a woman but only established
informal traditional courtship customs. Despite the modernity of life brought about by digital technology, courtship has not lost
its appeal among the younger generation. It is still observed and practiced regardless of
culture, socioeconomic, and nationality. Though courtship customs differ from country
to country. Men of different cultures have different ways of courting a woman.
Filipinos have their own indirect, romantic ways of courting women, writing a love
letter to a woman is just one of them. For a very long time, it has been practiced by many
Filipino men as a way of professing their feelings to women.
Effective way
A love letter containing flowery, poetic words written usually on scented stationery has
been the favorite way of courting for Filipino men. Its effectiveness has been tested and
proven, but a love letter alone does not guarantee outright acceptance of a romantic
proposal from a woman.
Reasons for writing a love letter
There are several reasons why some men write a love letter. The possibility of being
rejected by a woman is one of them; such an act would be ego-bruising for a man. So a
love letter is a face-saving courtship strategy for some men. Other reasons are in a love
letter, a man could write everything he wants to say to a woman. A love letter is also less
intimidating and embarrassing as a man never professes his feelings in front of a
woman. A love letter is a perfect way to profess one's feelings especially those
who couldn't express their feelings face to face with a woman?
Thrilling, yet terrifying
Sending a love letter to a woman of your dream is both thrilling and terrifying. A suitor
would feel terrified the moment a letter would be at the recipient’s possession. The
thought of what would be the reaction of the woman would be terrifying and at the same
time, a sender would be thrilled while waiting for a response from the recipient
(woman) either to accept or reject his proposal.
A woman’s reactions to the love letter
How would a woman react when she sees the letter-sender? Will she get angry, thrilled,
excited, or embarrassed? This would be the nerve-racking moments on the part of a man
and so with the woman. Initially, when these moments come, both the woman and the
letter - sender would feel uneasy by the presence of each other. If the woman likes the
letter-sender of course she would either get thrilled or embarrassed. In the experience of
my friends, they would get thrilled and embarrassed.
Asking for a woman’s response
Asking the woman’s response to his love letter would be the most embarrassing and
terrifying moment especially on the part of the man as the man is clueless about what
might be the reactions of the woman.
To the Filipinos, writing and sending a love letter to women they are trying to court is
one of the time-tested traditional courtship customs. It is a way of expressing a man’s
affection to a woman especially by a man who doesn’t have the nerves to profess face to
face.
As to its effectiveness, well, it could help in winning a woman’s heart. Being an
emotional being, regardless of her feelings towards a letter sender, a woman would
naturally, get thrilled or nervous when she receives a love letter.
Sadly, this particular courtship custom has slowly lost its appeal particularly to the
younger generations of Filipinos or that y-generation. The modernity and sophistication
of the younger generation brought about by digital media particularly social media have
contributed to the gradual disappearance of some traditional courtship customs.
It is just unfortunate that a Filipino custom as beautiful as this which had become part
of our culture would be forever gone. It may have lost its popularity among Filipinos but
it will always be forever remembered as part of our culture and which has helped us
shape our identity as Filipinos.