Skip to main content

Paninilbihan (Servitude) is one of the most effective courtship traditions for Filipino suitors?

Undeniably, modern technology has significantly shaped our social life. In today's digital age, almost everything is done through the use of modern technology. Online shopping, ordering of food, paying water and electricity bills are just some of the numerous transactions done online. 

But how does modern technology play a role in today's modern courtship among Filipino suitors?

In this post, let's discuss some of the Filipino courtship traditions, particularly the "Paninilbihan" or "Servitude" in the English language, and if these Filipino long-embraced courtship customs are still effective in today's courtship.

One of the courtship customs of Filipinos is the " Paninilbihan." For  a very long time, this particular courtship tradition had been used by Filipino suitors.

Paninilbihan used to be part of Filipino courtship, but sadly it has slowly lost its appeal and popularity among the young generation of suitors.

What is Paninilbihan? 

Paninilbihan or Servitude is a courtship tradition where a suitor stays in the house of the woman he is wooing. While in the woman's house, he will do household chores like fetching some water from a well, chopping firewood, tending the woman's family farm animals, helping out the woman's father on the farm, and any other household chores without being paid. 

The 'Paninilbihan' had been proven to be effective in proving a man's patience and sincerity to a woman and her family by staying in a woman's house he is courting by helping with household chores. 

Aside from testing the patience and sincerity of the man,  through the Paninilbihan the woman's parents would also assess if the man is responsible enough to take care of the woman if and when they get married. 

But why do Filipino suitors do the Paninilbihan? Will it help say the woman yes to his romantic proposal? Is this particular courtship custom effective? And do the new generation of Filipinos still observe and practice it?

Below are some of the answers to the questions above:

Test of sincerity and patience

Paninilbihan is done by a man to test his sincerity and patience. With this courtship custom, the woman and her family would know if her suitor is sincere and patient through close observation of the man. 

For how long will the man serve the woman's family? Well, there's no established standard as to the time frame of the man's stay in the house of the woman.

It's on a case-to-case basis. It all depends on the man or the woman. It could be weeks, months, or years. 

Sadly, seldom one could hear of this particular courtship tradition being practiced by a Filipino suitor these days.

There are factors that could contribute to the loss of appeal of this courtship tradition among the young generation of Filipinos.

Western culture

The loss of popularity and appeal of some courtship customs among the young generation of Filipinos could be partly attributed to their liberal shift to Western culture. 

Generally, the new generation of Filipinos has shifted to a foreign culture. The way they dress, act, and converse. 

Another reason for the loss of Paninilbihan could be a plain and simple inconvenience and discomfort on the part of a Filipino suitor staying in a woman's house doing household chores. 

This new generation of Filipinos has adopted the culture of other countries particularly those of Western countries through social media.

One of the aspects affected by the shift of culture is the Filipinos' courtship customs like the " Paninilbihan or Servitude in the English language." 

It's really very sad for Filipinos that this particular long-established courtship custom of Paninilbihan has lost its appeal and popularity among the young generation of Filipinos. 

The accessibility of the new generation of Filipinos to digital devices and the internet could also be a factor for the non-practiced and the disappearance of this particular courtship custom.

Why do they stay and do tasks in a woman's house to prove their sincerity when they can do it on their smartphones and computers? 

Will there be a chance to revive this particular courtship tradition? Well, the chance is very slim considering the lifestyle of today's young generation of Filipinos.

They tend towards foreign cultures and have been influenced through different social media platforms, foreign movies, and reading materials. 

Popular posts from this blog

Lomboy (Black Plums) Leaves: The Poor Man's Cigarettes

In today's blog, we'll talk about the Lomboy tree and its many uses from its fruits, wood, and leaves. These trees grow not only in the Philippines but also in other tropical countries in Asia. In the Philippines, Lomboy trees grow well with any type of soil be it in rural or urban areas. Wood  The Lomboy tree wood is used as reliable materials for building houses, furniture such as tables, chairs, and other house furniture.  Lomboy Fruits Lomboy fruits are sweet, purple in color, and oblong in shape. Unfortunately, children cannot easily get their fruits as these trees grow bigger and taller. Aside from its tasty fruits, black plums fruits also have health benefits. Black plums fruits are packed with vitamin c, iron, and magnesium, and other nutrients.  In the Philippines, some fully-grown trees grow as high as 30-40 meters in height. With its size it would be hard for children to get its fruits. Lomboy Leaves  The Lomboy leaves have been used by the Filipinos especially those

Paninilbihan (Servitude): A Traditional Filipino Courtship Custom

 Another traditional courtship custom that used to be popular among Filipino men for its unique, marriage-like setup is ‘ Paninilbihan’ or servitude in the English language. Paninilbihan is just one of the many traditional Filipino courtship customs which used to be observed and practiced by Filipino suitors to help them win Filipina women’s hearts and at the same time to prove their sincerity and patience to the women they are trying to woo.  In this particular courtship tradition, the suitor stays in the house of a woman he is courting for a particular period of time. Throughout the Paninilbihan period, the man would do various farm and household chores while being observed by both the woman he is courting and her parents. The duration of Paninilbihan (Servitude) may vary depending on the suitor and the parents of the woman. The Paninilbihan is a perfect opportunity for both the woman’s family and her suitor if they could get along with one another based on the relationship establish

The Poverty porn and the strong influence of social media influencers in the Philippines

The Philippines is one of only two Catholic countries in Southeast Asia. It is just a small country, but in spite of its small size, the Philippines possesses the components to be a tiger economy in Southeast Asia: skilled, hardworking human resources, vast oil reserves, mineral resources, rich marine life, fertile land, pristine beaches, and other natural resources.   But despite the abundance of natural resources, the Philippines has remained a developing country. Its struggling economy can be attributed to so many factors that only economists can articulately explain. Due to its widespread poverty, millions of Filipinos look for better economic opportunities abroad. In fact, before the covid-19 pandemic, thousands of Filipinos were leaving the country every day in search of greener pastures in other countries.  Leaving one's family behind is a hard decision to make for parents. Being thousands of miles away from loved ones for years is difficult especially for the children and t