The traditional and modern courtship of the Filipinos

 

Undeniably, the advent of modern technology has shaped our social life. Buying food at a restaurant, banking transactions, paying electric and water bills, shopping for your favorite dress or shoes personally are the things of the past. 

In today's digital age, we can now do all these which were not possible several decades ago. But aside from the aforementioned, there is also another aspect of our social life that has been changed by modern technology and this is the manner of courtship among the Filipinos. 

In this love month of February, we'll talk about the factors that changed the Filipino courtship from the traditional to modern courtship. Below are some of the traditional courtship practices of the Filipinos. We will also tackle factors that could have contributed to the shift of Filipino courtship from traditional to modern. 

Love letter 

Sending a love letter to a woman is a popular and effective means of relaying a man's feelings. It's really fascinating and thrilling to imagine the reaction of the woman upon opening and reading the love letter coming from the love of her life. 

Love letter has been a perfect means to express a man's feelings, particularly those men who are tight-lipped or zipped-mouth who don't have the courage to express their feelings in front of a woman. 

But in today's Filipino modern courtship, expressing one's feelings is just at one's fingertips. With smartphones, laptops or personal computers one's feelings can now be expressed through the use of digital devices. The availability of these communication devices has made a love letter obsolete and useless to the younger generation of Filipino suitors. 

Spoken poetry 

Another treasured traditional courtship custom is the spoken poetry. Filipinos are generally romantic people and they express this value orally and verbally. Like the love letter, spoken

poetry used to be embraced and practiced by then Filipino suitors.In the Philippine countryside, Filipino suitors then would recite spoken poetry in front of the women they are wooing. If recited with emotions, spoken poetry can be tear-jerking and romantic. 

It's quite funny that spoken poetry is not just recited by suitors but by old men as well. During or after a drinking session over coconut wine (tuba in Visayan dialect) , many tipsy-turvy drinkers would recite spoken poetry in front of many people without any signs of shyness. It's during drinking sessions where the romantic nature of the Filipinos would be manifested. Drank men would sing romantic songs and would recite spoken poetry. 

Still alive 

Fortunately, spoken poetry is still alive and practiced by the young generation of Filipinos. These young Filipinos recite in social gatherings particularly during school activities. Unfortunately, subjects of their spoken poetry are focused more on social issues and few of them about love. 

Love letters and spoken poetry are just some of the several Filipino courtship traditions that have lost their popularity and significance among the young generation of Filipinos. 

Bridge 

The ' Bridge ' (bearer of message) used to play an important role in Filipino courtship. Bridge, usually, is a mutual friend of both the woman and the man. Their tasks are to relay messages from the man to the woman and vice versa. When smartphones and other digital devices had not been invented yet, the role of the ' Bridge ' was indispensable. 

Unfortunately, there had been alleged cases where the Bridge or the bearer of messages ended up establishing mutual trust and understanding with either the man or the woman, eventually developing into romance between either the woman or the man. 

Fast-forward to the millennium, the young generation's availability and accessibility to the internet using modern communication devices such as smartphones, the role of Bridges has become obsolete. Young couples or would-be couples prefer to communicate directly to each other using their communication devices thus keeping their privacy intact.

Undeniably, Bridges or the bearers of message had been of great help in the would be couples getting to know each other well through the former's in relaying messages. 

Home visit 

Home, work, or school visit is another means of establishing a bond with a woman. Although, this may not be considered as a traditional courtship but will surely help in the courtship as it will enable potential couples to know each other well through regular home or workplace visits. 

Fetching a woman from work and sending her off to her house and visiting a woman in her house courtship practices also practiced by suitors of other nationalities. In this setup, Filipino suitors fetch the women they are courting from the workplace or school. It's another way for a woman to know the man who is courting her. 

Through home visits by a suitor, the woman's family would get to know the man's personality and establish a bond with them. School, workplace, or home visits are still popular and practiced by the Filipino suitors in the countryside or in the cities. 

Harana (serenade) 

One of the most exciting, thrilling Filipino courtship traditions is the Harana. Similar to spoken poetry, Harana requires a man to sing in front of a woman in her house.Armed with a guitar or other stringed instruments, a man serenades a woman. Upon hearing the man, the woman would then peep out of the window giggling. Usually, the man would bring his friends to serve as back up singers, singers or instrument players. 

It saddens us that like most Filipino traditional courtship customs, Harana has lost its popularity and appeal among the younger generation of Filipinos. With the exception of home or school visits, the rest of the traditional courtship practices have vanished into oblivion. 

The liberal shift of the younger Filipinos to foreign culture could have been attributed to the disappearance of these courtship practices that used to be popular among Filipinos several decades ago. Though these Filipino courtship practices are still shown in Filipino romantic movies whose themes are set many decades ago.

With the disappearance of these beautiful and once popular Filipinos courtship practices, all the Filipinos can do is just to reminisce and treasure these courtship practices that have helped shape the identity of the Filipinos around the world.

Photos taken and courtesy of SM City Cebu