Filipino Dating in Today's Digital Age

 In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven life, everything is done at our fingertips. Technological advancement has brought changes into our social life, significantly changing our way of living. 

One of these changes is the dating practices among young Filipinos, shifting from traditional to modern. Inherent in the modern Filipino dating is the utilization of modern communication devices such as smartphones, laptops, computers and other modern devices. 

Digital Courtship 

Digital courtship is a new approach to courtship utilizing different modern digital communication devices and social media platforms. Digital courtship has been characterized as direct, quick and less effort on the part of a man courting a woman. 

But how do Filipino men exactly utilize these devices in courting women? 

When looking for partners. During the search period, Filipino men use their smartphones, laptops or computers in looking for their potential partners on social media and on dating sites. 

When a potential partner is found, the man would keep in touch with the woman until the next stage. 

In getting to know stage. This stage is a step away from getting engaged with the woman. If the man could feel a spark and chemistry exists, then a proposal would follow.

Engagement. This is the stage where the woman has accepted the proposal of the man. The couple is going steady. Exclusive and series of dates are expected in this stage to get to know more about their traits, hobbies, likes, and chemistry. 

Marriage. The conclusion of courtship. Smartphones are used to communicate with family members. 

Modern Dating Practices 

Unchaperoned Dating 

Another modern dating practice is unchaperoned dating. As the phrase suggests, a woman does not need company in going out on a date with a man. This is in stark contrast to chaperoned dating used to be practiced by Filipino women decades ago. 

Filipino parents then were very protective of their daughters. Women then were restrained from going out on dates unaccompanied. Social norms also prohibit women from dating with their suitors or boyfriends unaccompanied.

When going out on a date, Filipinas were accompanied by older siblings, friends or parents. 

Unfortunately, in the Philippines, unchaperoned dating has resulted in brutal killings of the girls/women. There have been numerous cases of women killed by their male dating partners. 

The former, being physically weaker, could not effectively defend themselves against their attackers. Despite these brutal killings, still many women go out on a date with men they don’t personally know because today’s women are independent, broad-minded, and brave. 

Change of role 

In today’s 21st Century courtship, Filipinos not only shifted to digital courtship, but also empowered women with equal roles and responsibilities For centuries, Filipino men used to be the ones who would initiate and show their liking towards women. 

But Filipino courtship is different now. Either the woman or man could initiate the first move. Gone are the days when women had to wait for men to initiate the first moves. Social norms and the virtues ascribed to them prevent them from making first moves or manifesting their liking towards men. 

But these steps initiated by Filipinas are limited to infatuations and flirting. They would never go beyond.

To Filipino men, these infatuations and flirtings are enough motivation to pursue a courtship knowing fully well that he has a high chance that his love proposal would be accepted. One of the reasons feared by men is getting rejected by a woman. 

Devices as responsible 

Undeniably, digital devices have brought convenience and comfort into our lives. In fact, with smartphones, establishing romantic relationships has become easier. But the use of digital devices also has its drawbacks. 

Smartphones and other modern communication devices have been responsible for many relationships break ups. 

How did this happen? 

Well, generally, Filipinas are like detectives; they are good at investigating. Smartphones and social media accounts of their husbands and boyfriends. 

Wives would discreetly check the smartphones of their husbands/friends from time to time. Once a sweet message is found, expect chaos. 

While Filipino women are kind and romantic, when it comes to love life, they are like lionesses. Just by discovering a sweet message from another woman, it would cause a breakup of a relationship. 

It’s getting younger

In today’s modern dating, social norms were no longer determinant and deciding factors. Young couples no longer adhere to these old dating norms and practices. 

Back then, one of the unwritten social rules in dating was that a woman must be at least 18 years of age before she could go out on a date. Fast forward to the 21st Century, girls as young as 14 years already are already going out on a date with boys of their age. 

Dating by these teenagers is usually done if there are no classes. Their parents or guardians assumed that they are in the class when in fact they are out on dating. Or in some cases, extracurricular activities, whether true or concocted, have been a perfect excuse for these teenagers. 

Because of today’s early dating among girls, teenage pregnancy has become among the problems in the Philippines. Sadly, this pregnancy has resulted in broken families. With their young age, they could not land a job, thus, do not have financial resources to support their families. Their children are entrusted to their respective parents. 

Maria Clara Image 

Maria Clara image is a long-treasured image ascribed to Filipina women. Attached to this image are the Filipino women’s famed values of reserved, demure, and shy. Filipinas then were treated like a delicate flower by Filipino men. 

But that was many decades ago. Things have changed with time and so with the culture and norms of people. The advent of modern technology is the primary catalyst for the change of some of our culture and practices. 

Some of the practices used to be socially unacceptable then, are now socially acceptable such as the Mara Clara image, a rarity nowadays. 

Back then, holding the hand of a Filipina woman already constitutes a violation of social norms. Sadly, these norms used to be violative of social norms are now acceptable. 

The universal maxim: “Many things change with time,” holds true as exemplified in the lifestyle and way of living of the Filipinos. Who would have thought that centuries-old practices and norms of Filipino people would be buried into oblivion and become things of the past. 

It sounds impossible, but it’s true. Traditional practices that have something to do with the Filipinos’ identity have been forgotten. 

samuelescabarte@gmail.com

Author is a Filipino licensed English Language and Literature teacher. Please follow me as I share with you my country's rich, diverse culture, assimilation of cultures brought and introduced by her colonizers.

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