Filipino Dating in Today's Digital Age
In today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world, almost everything is within our reach. Technological advancements have undeniably transformed our social, personal, and professional lives, greatly influencing the way we live. One notable change is the shift in dating practices among young Filipinos, moving from traditional to modern courtship. Modern Filipino dating often involves the use of communication tools like smartphones, laptops, computers, and other digital devices.
Digital courtship is a modern way of pursuing romance through digital communication tools and social media platforms. It’s often seen as more direct, faster, and requiring less effort from a man courting a woman. Filipino men, for instance, use gadgets like smartphones, laptops, or computers to search for potential partners on social media or dating sites. Once they find someone, they stay in touch until moving to the next stage. The “getting to know” phase brings them closer to engagement, where a spark and mutual chemistry might lead to a proposal. Engagement marks the acceptance of that proposal, with the couple exclusively dating to learn more about each other’s personalities, hobbies, and preferences. Marriage is the final step, with technology still playing a role in keeping families connected.
Another modern dating trend is dating without a chaperone. As the term implies, a woman can go out on a date with a man without needing anyone to accompany her. This is a clear contrast to the chaperoned dating that Filipino women followed decades ago.
Back then, Filipino parents were very protective of their daughters, and women were not allowed to go on dates alone. Social norms discouraged them from meeting suitors or boyfriends without a companion. When going out, Filipinas were often accompanied by older siblings, friends, or even their parents. Sadly, in the Philippines, unchaperoned dating has at times led to tragic incidents, including cases where women were killed by their male partners.
The former, being physically weaker, could not effectively defend themselves against their attackers. Despite these brutal killings, still many women go out on a date with men they don’t personally know because today’s women are independent, broad-minded, and brave.
ought convenience and comfort into our lives. In fact, with smartphones, establishing romantic relationships has become easier. But the use of digital devices also has its drawbacks.
Change of role
In today’s 21st-century courtship, Filipinos have shifted to digital dating and embraced gender equality in roles and responsibilities. For centuries, it was mostly Filipino men who initiated and expressed their interest in women. Now, either a man or a woman can make the first move. Gone are the days when women had to wait for men to take the lead, though traditional norms and values still discourage some from openly showing interest. When women do initiate, it’s often limited to light flirting or expressing infatuation, rarely going further. For many Filipino men, these gestures are enough encouragement to pursue courtship, confident there’s a good chance their proposal will be accepted. One of their biggest fears remains the possibility of rejection.
Devices as Responsible
Undeniably, smartphones and other modern communication gadgets have played a role in many relationship breakups.
How did this happen?
Filipinas can be like skilled detectives, often adept at checking their husbands’ or boyfriends’ smartphones and social media accounts. Wives may quietly go through their partners’ phones now and then, and if they stumble upon a sweet message, all sorts of trouble can begin. Though kind and romantic, Filipino women can be as fierce as lionesses when it comes to love, and sometimes just one sweet message from another woman is enough to end a relationship.
It’s getting younger
In today’s dating world, social norms aren’t the biggest influence anymore. Young couples are moving past the old rules and traditions.
Back then, there was an unspoken rule that a woman had to be at least 18 before going on a date. Now, in the 21st century, it’s common for girls as young as 14 to date boys their own age.
Teenagers sometimes go on dates during school hours, with parents or guardians thinking they’re in class, when in fact they’re out with someone. Extracurricular activities, whether real or fabricated, can serve as a handy excuse. Early dating among girls has been linked to the rising problem of teenage pregnancy in the Philippines, which often results in broken families. Because of their young age, they can’t get stable jobs and lack the financial resources to raise their children, who usually end up being cared for by their grandparents.
The Maria Clara image has long been tied to Filipina women, representing qualities like being reserved, modest, and shy. In the past, Filipino men treated women as if they were fragile flowers. But over the decades, culture and societal norms have evolved, with modern technology playing a big role in reshaping traditions and practices. What was once frowned upon, like stepping away from the Maria Clara ideal, is now widely accepted. Back then, even holding a Filipina’s hand was considered a breach of etiquette, but today it’s generally no big deal.
The saying, “Many things change with time,” perfectly fits the shift in Filipino lifestyles. Who would have thought that customs and traditions preserved for centuries would fade into history? It might seem surprising, but it’s true—many traditional practices once central to Filipino identity have been left behind.
.jpg) |
| samuelescabarte@gmail.com |
I am a Filipino licensed English Language and Literature teacher, inviting you to join me as I share my country's rich and diverse culture, along with the blend of traditions brought and introduced by its colonizers.
